Photography, photography, photography

Well, what can I say about the last few lessons in my photography college course.
First off we were learning about landscapes, depth of field, aperture the best lenses to use etc.
Do I have any examples to show you.....urmmmm. No.
You see the problem is no matter how interested in photography I am and how much I want to take endless pictures to get better at it, life continually gets in the way. Last week I ventured out with Kara (2 and a half year old daughter) to Tooting Common with the full intention of letting her play in the play ground and then taking some shots. Unfortunately she insisted on using her scooter on the way so it took us over half an hour to make the 15 minute walk, then she wanted to be behind the camera every time it came out of the bag and eventually the sun was too low to get any decent shots. Then through the week as we all know here in blighty, at this time of year we go to work in the dark and leave work in the dark. So theres absolutely no chance to get any thing done through the week.

The last lesson I had we covered portrait photography. Once again we played with the basics like framing (never frame your subject at a joint. Knees, elbows as it looks weird) and focus (always focus on your subjects eyes no matter where in the frame they are) as well as some new stuff like exposure compensation and flash intensity. All adjustable from your dslr's menu.
It was a very interesting lesson from both a practical side and theory. Example, put your camera in portrait photography mode (not the, do all your thinking for you, setting on the top dial but using the picture type selection in the menu) this will disable the flash, causing shutter speed problems in dim light. But, adjusting the exposure compensation by knocking it down a notch or two and this will increase the shutter speed. Its these little tricks that I'm really interested in learning.
Once again I have no examples to show you but this time it isn't because of life getting in the way. I do have quite a lot of portraits that I shot in the class of all my class mates but, without their permission, I'm not about to splash their faces all over the interweb. I'm sure they wouldn't mind but its wrong to do it without asking them. I'm sure you understand.

Focus, Smile then Click

Its been a while since my last post but things have been a little hectic here in the Abyss. Holidays, family crisis', darts and college have kept me quite the busy bee these last couple of months.
The title of this episode refers to the college course I'm attending. Every Wednesday evening I drive over to Putney School of Arts armed with my DSLR ready to be versed in the finer points of photography and I am happy to say that slowly, but surely, the complex manual controls of the camera are becoming clear to me. So with Canon EOS450 DSLR in hand its off to college I go.

Weeks 1 & 2

During these lesson the possibilities of shutter speed were shown to me, so over the following weeks I experimented with the many different uses of shutter speed, combined with motion, low light and a few other factors to try and make it interesting.

This picture was taken in the Sample Room at Young's Brewery in Wandsworth. The brewery has been closed for a few years now but due to the long history of brewing on this site (500 hundred years and counting of continual brewing by one establishment or another) the owners and developers of the site have kept a micro brewery going in order to carry on the brewing legacy. The Sample Room is where this small amount of ale is made available for consumption to the chosen few. The picture was taken using f/3.5 1/8 second ISO400. It was my first attempt at indoors photography in low light with no flash.

Personally, I think it turned out quite well.

Weeks 3-6

The following few lessons explained the use of different ISO settings, aperture settings and a brief explanation of Servo AI.This picture was taken on the north bank of the Thames just East of Putney bridge. The picture was taken using f/11 10 second exposure and ISO200



Finally we were asked one week to take some shots of things that were a particular colour. My colour was black.

This picture is of (in case you hadn't guessed) a coat hanger hanging off a door. f/5 1/60sec exposure ISO1600



For this one I drew lines on a blank piece of paper to try and make the picture more interesting than just a pen on paper. I experimented with crazy scribbles, horizontal and finally vertical lines. I consider this to be one of the best ones, the lines guide your eye both to the pen, then the lid and beyond. f/4.5 1/60 sec exposure ISO800

Finally this picture was taken using f/5 1/80sec exposure ISO1600

Can you guess what it is.

If you have any questions regarding the pictures don't be afraid to ask and if any of you out there are avid photographers I'd love to hear any tips or advice you would care to offer.

Till next time......

The voice has spoken.

Conan - A strong contender or a damp squid?

Well last night I saw the new version of Conan The Barbarian.
Now many of you out there, like me, will remember the original 1982 version starring non other than the Governator himself Arnold Schwarzenegger with fond memories and will have been very weary of this new version from the off set. But lets get one thing straight, this is not a remake, its a new Conan film. A fresh origin story, entirely different from the 82 film. So don't expect to know the story, even though there are similarities.
Warning the following contains spoilers. So read at your own peril.....

The movie starts with a bloody battle in which Conan's mother and father are knee deep in violence and bloodshed. Unfortunately Conan's mother falls foul of a sword and his father (played by the excellent Ron Pearlman) has to perform an emergency C-Section (yeah you read that right) So he gazes into his wife's eyes, lifts his sword and plunges it into her belly. How the hell he didn't slice the babies head off I have no idea (with that luck he should have put the lottery on as well) What follows is a scene directly lifted from The Lion King, baby is held aloft for all to see. Remember theres a battle going on right now but what the hell lets let the enemy use a baby for target practice. Told you this guy was one hell of a lucky dude that day. What follows for the next 30 minutes or so is Conan growing into a teen, proving his worth as a warrior, learning the value of a well made sword and the destruction of his village. Once his father has been killed by the evil warrior, with a major god complex, Khalar Zym. He then runs off into the wilderness and the next time we See him hes transformed into Jason Mamoa.
Now Jason does make a worthy Conan and is certainly more suited for the role than Arnold was (cue the screams of protest from all the devotees) After all Arnold can never be accused of being a good actor, something that Jason is certainly more capable of.
So the adult Conan sets out take revenge on his fathers killer.
A quick word about the, afore mentioned, killer Khalar Zym. He is played, quite capably, by Stephen Lang (Crazy army dude from the terrible but money making Avatar) and makes for an interesting bad guy but, theres always a but, the 82 film had James Earl Jones as a bad guy. Come on people this is the voice of Darth Vader himself, just the voice alone makes for a good bad guy but add in the man as well and you've got some mighty hard size 11s that Stephen had to fill. Something he just doesn't manage to do (even though he had a far more acceptable hair style than the dodgy mop that J. E. Jones was forced to wear) Now at Khalars side is his faithful witch of a daughter, and I mean that literally, Marique (played excellently by Rose McGowan, girl with machine gun leg in Planet Terror) and she is the real menace of the film as is proven when she conjors up some soldiers made of sand in one of the many, and I mean many, action scenes. The amount of action scenes is one of the problems in a lot of Hollywood films these days and this one is no exception. With all the action that is going on there is barely enough time for a story to develop but we still manage to get from A to B. All be it rather sparingly on the detail and emotional content.
As the film moves on our friendly neighbourhood barbarian ends up baby sitting a woman that Khalar needs the blood of in order to power a mask that will allow him to bring back his wife from the dead, conquer the world and get all the bugs out of the latest version of windows. Or something like that. Now this woman was raised and educated in a monastery and even refers to herself as a monk. Problem is that no sooner has she had a change of clothes that she decides she wants to do the nasty with a dirty, sweaty barbarian. So much for a devout religious up bringing.
Of course this leads to Conan having to rescue his damsel in distress from Khalar at the end of the film. During the course of the rescue he calls in the help of the greatest thief / lock pick that there is to get him into Zyms lair. Unfortunately all this means is that this guy has a big bunch of keys? I mean why bring him along at all, just give Conan the keys and tell him to bring them back when hes finished. Surely dragging this poor dude along just makes it more difficult to get in without been seen.
Of course in the evil lair theres a sea monster in the dungeon, they must have run out of rancor's at Skywalker Ranch, then its on to rescue his woman before shes sacrificed and her blood used to empower the mask of all evil (its actually a mask made of kings bones or something) which once empowered clings to his face like a face hugger from alien. During the battle he must also battle Marique and her finger claws (ala Freddy Kruger, she even does the whole dragging of claws along a wall sparks flying) and several soldiers. The cavern where the final battle takes place must have been designed by the same guy who designed Medusa's lair in Clash Of The Titans. Its a totally impractical collection of platforms and sudden death ledges, I mean what was wrong with architects back then in days of legend, were they all high on LSD or something.
The film ends with Conan taking his, not so, fair lady home and then riding off into the sunset.
So after all this mocking and silliness what is my final judgement on the film.
Well it is certainly a better film than the original, and it is entertaining enough but would I recommend going to the cinema to see it.
No not really.
Wait for the Blu-Ray and enjoy it at home. After all the seats a comfier and the food is cheaper.

Till next time..

The voice has spoken.

Swimming, soon be time to let go

OK, so every Saturday Kara goes swimming. Shes been going to swimming lessons since she was 9 month old, we sometimes wish she had started sooner but to be honest shes confident enough now so I don't know how much difference it would have made.
All week shes a bit grumpy in the morning, she likes nursery but doesn't get excited by the thought of going so its a bit of a battle sometimes to get her to brush her teeth and get dressed etc. But on a Saturday its a different story. Shes dressed, teeth brushed, hands and face washed and ready to go. As soon as we start packing her bag she will tell me or Otilia that shes going swimming and she will carry on telling us right up to the point that were changing her into her costume at the pool.
Most of the time it is just me and Kara, mum stays home and cleans while we are away, but sometimes mum comes as well. Whether this is a good thing can vary from time to time as sometimes having mum at the edge of the pool can be a bit distracting for Kara. Though she does like showing off when shes jumping into the water, "Nany (She still calls Otilia that even though she can now pronounce her M's) look at Kara." She will shout just before taking a leap of faith of the side.
In September she will be 30 month and it will be time to advance onto the next level, this will mean that she goes into the pool on her own. No Daddy! I think I'm more upset about this than Kara will be.
But I have to admit I think shes ready for it as every week now she keeps trying to get out of my arms even though she will sink if I let go. Shes confident in the water but shes still too young to swim on her own, when she goes up in September she will be wearing a floatation backpack. Today during the five minutes play time break in the middle of the lesson I put the backpack on her for the first time. I expected her to complain about it and ask for it to be taken off but instead she just got on with things and acted like it wasn't there. Good girl.
So for the next 3 weeks it will be swimming with daddy as usual but then shes on her own. I have to admit with every passing week now it becomes more daunting. Having to let my little Boogie go in the pool on her own frightens and saddens me. Its been a journey we both shared until now but in 3 weeks she will be on her own.
I will be nothing but a spectator at the side of the pool. Boo Hoo.


The voice has spoken...

Till next time.

The Latest

 Well the weekend is over for us all (unless you live in a strange place where the weekend starts on a Monday) and its back to the reality of working life once again but the memories of the past weekend will live on a lot longer than the ones I gather at work.
On Saturday after taking little Kara swimming (shes getting to be a real water baby) we travelled south to the Watercress Line. A steam railway line that still runs between 4 stations. The reason for the trip was to meet Thomas the Tank Engine and friends. Needless to say Kara loved it, she smiled the whole day and no parent can ask for more can they.

After spending the day with Thomas we spent the night camping at the Sustainability Centre. A rather hippy type campsite with (very unglamourous) compost toilets, though there are some in a near by building and Teepee's that you can rent if you feel inclined to do so. I have to say though that looking in one of the Teepee's I wouldn't recommend it as they are basically just a canvas top and nothing below you so you are sleeping on what you bring with you and nothing else but dirt. And the edges aren't sealed neither so the wind blows through all night.
We stayed in our tent (a Berghause Cuillin) it has 2 rooms separated by a large living area. Large enough for us anyway and high enough to stand in. The last time we camped out Kara slept in the foot muff from her stroller but for this trip I bought her a sleeping bag. A cute little 2 season bag (a Vango Escape) that she absolutely loves and slept in soundly all night. Well for as long as a child can sleep under canvas, lets face it we all wake as soon as the sun comes up and go to bed later than usual.
The campsite was set in some beautiful woodland which me and Kara made full use off early Sunday morning as we went for a nature walk while Otilia slept a bit longer. Kara loved spotting the occasional rabbit or bird.
As we were packing up the clouds began to gather and, rather typically, a couple of minutes before I had finished packing the tent the heavens opened and I got slightly wet. the journey home was tiring but we made it back by mid afternoon. A good weekend was had by us all with many memories to carry in our hearts and a handful of pictures to make us smile for many years. Cant wait to view the videos.

Till next time..

The voice has spoken.

UNTITLED (cont)

10 hours and 42 minutes later
Hayling Island

The sun was kissing the horizon as it departed the English sky and as it did it cast one last shadow across the rough timber bridge leading to Hayling Island. That shadow was of the Prime ministers coach as it sped of the bridge and onto a dirt road. A few minutes later and the coach came to a sudden stop. "Why have we stopped?" Demanded the deputy Prime minister. "I thought we were headed to the south of the island!"
The driver leaned back and, without turning, shouted to his passengers, "I think you had better look at this sirs." The four passengers climbed out of the carriage and stared in disbelief at what lay before them. Ahead of them, maybe a mile away, hung a large metallic craft. From where they were stood it seemed to be hovering over the beach and out to see, motionless, silent. 60 meters across and twice as much in length. Dark in colour but reflective like a mirror with small peaks and domes on its top side but smooth as glass underneath. The Prime minister climbed back on board, "Come on," he barked, "get us to that thing now!"

The carriage stopped just at the edge of the pebble beach and the party of four stepped out. A wall of soldiers lined the beach as far as the eye could see and immediately ahead of them, like a giant pendulum, hung the strange craft. The reflection of the sea could be seen clearly on its surface and as the men gazed up at this thing their own reflections gazed back. "Major Cartwright, what can you tell us," asked the smoking man, pulling out a pack of cigarettes from his breast pocket. The major walked up to them and stood confidently between the men and the craft, "Yes sir." He said saluting as he did so. "The craft stopped a mile off to see but we've managed to pull it back to shore with minimum effort, however," he paused and turned to face the craft, "it seems to be dropping."
"Dropping?" said the Prime minister.
"Yes sir, dropping. My guess is its losing power."
Davenshore removed his hat and looked to the major, "How long till its grounded?"
The Major Looked up at the craft and then to Davenshore, "well, we estimate at the speed at which its dropped so far that we have three hours, maybe four at most."
"Then get as many men, horses, boats you can. Whatever it takes and get that thing fully ashore before its too late." Ordered the Prime minister.

Two hours later the craft was fully ashore and only three feet off the ground with bushes and trees crushed beneath its mass. The party of four had not said a word in all that time, just watching, observing. But now the deputy Prime minister spoke, "So what now sir," he asked his companions, "what do we do with it?" The four men looked at each other, each waiting for one of the others to speak. Finally it was Davenshore who did, "We investigate it," he said turning to face the craft, "we look for a way in and find out what we can." Just then there was a loud metallic groan and the whole craft fell to earth with a sound like roaring thunder. A cloud of dust shot into the air and the sound of a thousand soldiers, one Major, a Prime minister and his deputy and two of their staff coughing and choking filled the air. As the dust settled the Prime minister stepped over to the side of the craft and ran his hand down its surface, "Wheres the dust?" he asked himself.
"What sir?" asked his deputy.
"Look at us, covered head to toe with dust but this thing is as clean as when it first arrived." He turned to face his companions, "Wheres the dust?"
The deputy Prime minister stepped forward and slid his hand down the crafts smooth surface, staring intently at the greasy marks left by his fingers. slowly the grease slid like water from its surface and disappeared off the lower edge. He leaned in almost touching it and let out a warm breath. A small vapour mark appeared and then almost instantly disappeared. As he gazed at the craft he was caught by his own reflection gazing back at him. He stared hypnotically at his reflections eyes and suddenly he became aware that they were staring back at him.
"Are you alright sir?" asked Davenshore. The Prime minister, who was now speaking to the Major, turned to look at his deputy, "Jacob," he walked closer to his deputy, "Jacob look at me." Just then the deputy Priminister fell to the ground. The others ran to him and knelt around his body. The smoking man laid his fingers on the deputy Priministers neck. "His pulse is weak but still there sir," he said looking up at the Prime minister, expecting to see him looking back but instead found him staring at the craft. The smoking man rose and turned to see what the Priminister was looking at, "My God!" He said stepping back. Davenshore and the Major turned to see what was wrong and looking back at them from the crafts mirror like surface was the deputy Prime minister. The men gazed in silence as the reflection began to cry and then without warning screamed in silence and faded from existence. The Prime minister placed his hand on the Majors shoulder and looked down at his deputies body. Davenshore then checked for a pulse again but found none. "Hes gone sir," he said.
"Destroy it," the Priminister said in almost a whisper, "tune it to dust."
"And if we cant," asked the Major.
"Then bury it, remove it from memory."
The Priminister walked slowly to his carriage, his two remaining companions slowly followed him while the Major ordered a couple of his men to take care of the deputy Priministers body.
The Major walked over to the carriage and closed the door behind the three men. "There are witnesses sir, the locals."
"You will recieve orders Major," said the Priminister, "all will be taken care of in its own time." With that the carriage left the island and the Major set about disposing of the craft, one way or another.

Untitled, Part one

A SHADOW FALLS

1903
London.

"Davenshore, you saw the thing. What was it?" Boomed a voice through a cloud of cigar smoke in the corner of the room.
"Some kind of metalic craft, dark in colour but definately metalic," answered a grey haired man from the leather chair by an open wood fire, "and it was big!" He added as he leaned forward, raising his eyes to the smokingman, "very big."
A man in a brown tweed jacket sat listening intently from behind a desk spoke next, "Just how big?" He asked as the clouds parted allowing the morning sun to burst into the room through the large window behind him, illuminating everyone and everything and yet; obscuring the smoking man even more behind the cloud that hung around him.
Davenshore leaned back into the chair, raised his hand to his mouth and pulled nervously at his lower lip, "Big," he said from behind his fingers.
"Damn it Davenshore, the Priminister asked you a question now tell us, how big?" Shouted the smoking man.
"It was about 50 feet above us Prime minister," he said lowering his hand and resting it on the arm of the chair, "and its shadow cast a bridge over the Thames."
The Prime minister looked from Davenshore to the smoking man and then back again before he stood and slowly turned to gaze out of the window, his shadow cast a solitary figure along the floor and onto the back wall. He turned his head to the smoking man, "Do we know where it is now?"
The smoking man lowered his cigar and placed it into an ashtray beside him. Clasping his hands behind him he stepped out of the smoke and into the centre of the room.He was a tall slender man with neatly trimmed hair, a well groomed gentleman's moustache and piercing blue eyes. "Our men are tracking it southward sir, its slowing but has yet to stop."
Just then there was a knock at the door and in walked a short chubby man with a balding head and small round rimmed glasses perched on the very tip of his nose. He was panting heavily and his brow was glistening with sweat. He peered over his glasses at the prime minister, "Hayling sir," he said between breaths, "its stopped over Hayling Island"

Left wing Union idiots and a stupid Labour leader, what a party....

Well its been a while and I have to confess the reason is this. Its so hard to think of what to write. Give me a blank page and free license to imagine and I can knock up a story in no time but to blog about things in general is so friggin hard.
Luckily for me the great unwashed, left wing sheep and tabloid zombies have been on the rampage this weekend thus giving me something to rant on about.

 To anyone that was breathing over the weekend you've probably heard about the march in the centre of London campaigning about the government cut backs. People demanding the government rethinks its strategy for reducing the national deficit.

To start with, Ed Milliband (opposition leader, labour party) gave a speech to a few that had gathered early on about the march and compared it to the protests against apartheid in South Africa and the suffragettes who as we know campaigned to get women the vote.  How he could draw parallels between these and Saturdays march is beyond any rational and intelligent human being. But this is the guy who gained control of the Labour party by using Union backing when the rest of the party members wanted his brother to run the thing, so I guess he had to make a show in support of the afore mentioned unions.
He then went on to say that those campaigns led to governmental changes and so Saturdays march would also lead to change. What he conveniently forgot to mention was that twice as many people marched against the Iraq war when his party were in control and they still ignored the people so glass house, stones, kettle and teapot come to mind. He should really think twice before opening his mouth next time.

The march was to try to get the government to change their policies and use alternative means to reduce the national debt and it was this angle that Mr. Milliband used as the basis for his public address. However there was one thing sorely missing from his entire speech, a viable alternative. Or any alternative for that matter. You see the problem is that his party got us into this mess and now that they have lost control of the country and the Tories are having to deal with it and take all the flack he and his left wing honchos get to make a loud noise in protest but when you take away all the waffle you realise that that is all that they are doing. Making a lot of noise, because they know (though they will never admit it) that there is no alternative. David Cameron has said that there is no plan B this is it, and while the Labour party are making a lot of noise the one thing they are not doing is providing a plan A never mind a plan B. But the left wing brain dead have been convinced by the Labour party and half the tabloids that the Bankers are to blame and the Tories should hit them hard, leaving everyone else alone. The problem here is the bankers did cause some of the problem but the majority of the debt was run up by years of Labours bad spending habits. If the government was to listen to the loud minority (though they believe themselves to be the voice of the majority) and did hit the banks hard then all they would do is move their headquarters to another country leaving Canary Wharf a ghost town and providing London and the rest of the UK with thousands of freshly unemployed. Not to mention the big void in tax contributions, after all it might annoy people that some bankers get huge bonuses but think of the amount of tax they pay on these bonuses.

And so the Unions led the march on Saturday and for a while all went well but then.....
A breakaway group started trashing buildings, shops, banks and offices. Causing thousands of damage and terrorising staff, the public and tourists alike. They have said that they will cause disruption to the royal wedding also and if they do then I firmly believe that the police should use the water cannon closely followed by tazer guns. Now that is something I would pay to see. Let the young couple enjoy their special day and the people enjoy being a part of it.

After all the dust had settled Boris Johnson, Mayor of London said that Ed Milliband was probably quietly pleased that violence and vandalism did break out during the march as it gets the march and campaign against the cut backs more publicity. And probably gets it more floor time in the house of commons as well. The Labour party have demanded he retract his comments and apologise for what he said. Personally speaking I don't think he should as he is right. The Labour party will be loving it, they will probably be talking about it for the rest of the year, and most people know this so Boris stick to your guns.

Needless to say this wasn't the first protest against the cut backs and they have already said it wont be the last but if people want to waste their time then let them. if they want to go on naively thinking they can change things then go on why not march. I just hope it rains when they do, and if the police decide to use heavier tactics with the trouble causers then good. I'll be happy that they did.

At the end of the day, when the dust settles, the government must hold firm and not give on this. The country can not afford it and while people may struggle a little for a while, our children will be better off by a long shot and that's whats important. And lets face it, this is England, no one is going to starve and die. They may not be able to afford that 50 inch TV, might have to settle for a 40 inch instead. Oh what hardship.


The voice has spoken.....

Till next time....

To Term-a-nator or not to Term-a-nator that is the question

But first off tell me what the hell is a Nator and why would we want to term it. (Just how do you do that anyway)

I am referring to the news that the Austrian Oak Arnold Spankanugget himself has decided he would like to get back into acting now that his stint as the Governator is over. Personally I welcome this as he is, despite his natural lack of acting skills, a powerful presence on the big screen. The question on every ones (read that as an army of fan boys out there) lips is...... Wait for it....

Will he return to the Terminator franchise?????

Honestly, does any one (read that as those outside the fan boy fraternity) really want this. Lets face it the guy may still be tall and have a great stare but he's 64 years old whats he gonna do? Play an ageing father figure sent from the future to collect pensions from the past while helping John Conner come to terms with the loss of his mother and pet dog in the same week. All the fan boys are clamoring for him to play the great cyborg once again but what could he possibly do that he hasn't done before. In the first he was the hunter, in the second the protector and again in the third. And just how could they improve on the TX from the third movie, he needs a strong adversary but this one will take some beating, we've had just about every combination of killer/protector cyborg you can think of not forgetting (once again) he's old. If they did opt to go for the cyborg from the future sent to the past angle again then there's also the question why use the T800 (Arnold) model when there are all these far more advanced machines.
Some are saying that he could play the guy who the T800 was modelled on but this, despite being touched upon in the 3rd film, is in contrast with the timeline of robotic advancement set out in the first film. In the Terminator Reese states that the first Humanoid Robots were covered in rubber skin ('easy to spot' I believe he tells Sarah) It was the next model that was covered in skin. So the T800 wasn't created until the war had started. This doesn't mean they couldn't correct the mistake by addressing the issue in another film. Arnold could have been a resistance fighter captured by Skynet and used as a template for the T800 in order to have the very first one infiltrate the resistance without anyone noticing until its too late. Though just how you would get by the complete lack of emotion in expression and voice is another matter. But even this would be a mistake as the entire franchise has moved on since Arnold's involvement.
In short, Arnold don't do it. Move on to less active but still the same type of rolls as before. The ageing tough guy standing for what he believes without having to lift the biggest gun in the country to do it. Just like Eastwood has done for the last 10 years or so. Follow the Eastwood plan and you could still be in business 20 years from now.

Talking of tough guys I happened to stumble upon a John Wayne film during my lunch break today and it reminded me why I never really liked the Duke. The film was The Conqueror, widely regarded as his worst film and it's not so hard to see why. The guy had a hard time saying anything with emotion in any film but the script in this mess was a schoolboy attempt at something like old English Shakespeare. It destroyed the Duke within a couple of words. The guy strutted his stuff in his usual fashion while wearing a Fu Man chu moustache and fake eye brows. The best bit of makeup was the guy playing a Shaman (John Hoyt, don't worry if you've never heard of him neither had I) In every scene he looked like he had been peeling a bag full of onions while smoking some real heavy shit. But all this is secondary to Big Johns handling of the script which reminded me of Arnold's few lines in the first Terminator. Monosyllable and lacking in any emotion whatsoever, only thing is Arnold meant to do it. Does this mean Arnold is a better actor than the Duke was. No, we have to give the Duke his dues, he did good in a few films. When he wasn't being a racist, bigot and blind obeying all unquestioning patriot (read that as idiot)

So to wrap it all up today I would like to propose a new film for Arnold.

The Khaninator

A killer cyborg is sent from a future where good taste rules, to the past to eradicate all sins committed against movies. His first mission is to go back to 1956 and stop John Wayne from making The Conqueror. What he doesn't know is that John Wayne is really a Cyborg sent by a resistance group trying to bring back bad taste cinema in all its glory for people to enjoy while getting drunk with their mates. The real John Wayne is being held in a prison cell somewhere in the future.
All together now. Du Du Du De Du (Terminator music! Get with it people)

Till next time

The voice has spoken...

A month of movies and games

Hello world, yes it's me again the mighty voice of the great divide coming to you live from deep within.

I know it's been a while but what can I say. First Christmas, then New Year and since then I've been busy blowing things up and raising havoc on the PS3 that my lovely wife got me for Christmas. Well she likes to take credit but I don't for one minute believe her, I mean if she got me it then what did Santa get me?! Anyways if any of you out there are on the PlayStation Network then look out for me (Voice from Abyss) drop me a line, say hi if you will, or say low if you wont??

Now back to business.

What movies have I seen over the past few weeks...... A lot!

Avatar.

I'm still trying to figure out why this travesty of a movie made so much money. Its over long, its cliched, the story is an old tired over used one and none of it made sense when you actually gave it any thought. To put it simply, typical James Cameron.
As for the 3D, well I saw it on TV so there was no 3D but this merely proved that the only reason it packed people in was because of the 3D. Without it the film amounted to nothing. And as for JCs ravings about how 3D is meant to be well he just believes his own hype. The film was full of pointless camera shots that were put in just to show off the 3D. It reminded me of the old 3D movies from years ago when someone would point something at the camera for no reason than to make the audience go WOW. A tired and cheap trick used since the dawn of 3D. So you see the whole thing is just a tired old cliche that's very pretty to look at.


Defiance

Daniel Craig and Liev Schreiber star in this WW2 effort as brothers who lead a group of Jews into a forest to hide from the Nazis. A true story told very well and thoroughly enjoyable. I recommend it to all. It's all the more important to see when you realise that the story was kept secret by the brothers for many years, just wanting to get on with there new lives in America after the war. I have nothing but praise for this one so go see it now.

Kick Ass

Fantastic, if you like your humour on the dark side and you wont get offended by a 12 year old girl saying the C word then I heatedly recommend this. Nick Cage stars as the real super hero of the movie training with his daughter (brilliantly played by Chloe Moretz) fighting along side him. Meanwhile a nerd, tired of a life of suffering at the hands of bullies decides to fight back, disguising himself as (pretty useless) super hero Kick Ass. A great film with a well rounded cast comprising of no real weak points.
If you can laugh at a guy wearing metal wings jumping off a building and crashing onto the earth with his fall cushioned only by a parked car then this is the film for you.

Predators

I have one thing to say about this film. If you liked the first one then see this as this is the sequel we have spent many years waiting for. It certainly helps wash the taste of those appalling Alien/Predator movies from our mouth's.


And now something new from me. As I mentioned above I'm currently involved with a PS3 so here goes my short list of games I would recommend.

Bioshock 1 + 2

Excellent FPS games, based in the underwater city of Rapture in the first one you play a guy who's plane crashes into the waters above the city and you're only chance is to venture into the city where you must fight for survival. To aid you in journey you not only have an arsenal of weapons but also some genetic plasmids that alter you're DNA to allow you to shoot electricity and fire, amongst other things, from your finger tips. On your way through the city you will encounter Big Daddies, these are hulking big guys who have been genetically altered to protect little girls, known as Little Sisters.  They wear old style diving suits and carry huge drilling rigs on there arms or rivet guns and mines. But you must fight these guys as the girls carry the only thing that allows you to buy new genetic plasmids, Adam. A drug that the girls collect from the dead of Rapture.

In the second game you play one of the afor mentioned Big Daddies, waking up from a decade long coma you must travel through the city looking for the Little Sister that you were genetically bonded to ten years previously.

Both great games that I highly recommend.



Well that's all for now so it is with great sadness that I bid you all a fond farewell and well....

Till next time.

The voice has spoken.