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Wednesday 15 August 2012

An Olympics Retrospective

So now that the Olympics are over I think it's time to look at the show as a whole and see what we can take from it.

The opening ceremony.

This was a great example of British showmanship at it's best. From start to finish it was a show of all the things that make Great Britain great (and theres not much of that these days) All except the text show, that kind of lost me in its meaning, after all what the hell has teens texting got to do with British culture? But the rest of the show was a true spectacle. Rowan Atkinson doing his comic best as part of the orchestra, the celebration of British music and to cap it off what can be more British than James Bond with the Queen. A moment to make any British Citizen proud. As long as your not one of those left wing, hard done by idiots that thinks we should get rid of the Royal Family. After all they cost us so much money (around 70p each per year) and give nothing back (apart from a huge industry in Royal merchandising, endless tourists and countless business' and trade both to the capital and the country) But hey what do they give us?!?!?!

The sports

For the most part the examples set by the competitors was on the highest level seen in the Olympics yet. All the medal winners truly deserved their medals...... Or did they? It stunned me that on a handful of occasions the people who came fourth threw so much of a tantrum and complained directly to the judges that they were then moved up the table into the third and the original third then became forth. During the hand full of events I watched I saw this happen twice. If I remember correctly it was the Chinese the first time and the Americans the second. I mean come on, these guys came 1st and 2nd in the medal table by quite a bit, didn't they have enough medals without throwing their teddies out of the cot in order to win more, thus depriving other competitors of their chance. In the American example it was a Romanian Gymnast who lost out on Bronze even though the American (even after being re-scored) only managed to equal the Romanians score. And yet the Romanian girl received nothing while the American got Bronze. Oh the irony, the schools constantly tell our kids that its the taking part that's important not the winning and yet there they were, professional athletes live on TV throwing a tantrum, laying on the floor kicking and screaming, spitting out their dummies until somebody took pity on them and gave them a medal depriving the more mature and deserving athletes of their moment in the spotlight. Is this really what we want to show our children, if at first you don't succeed then don't bother trying again just throw a tantrum until you get what you want. And lets not mention the badminton fiasco. Pathetic!

The Closing Ceremony

Well, what do you say about that. A showcase of the best Britain has to offer part 2?????
I don't think so. To start with they played the first handful of songs twice! Britain has produced billions of songs over the last few decades and yet they thought it was fitting to play half a dozen twice rather than get a few extra to play?! Then the real show started, or should I say the real disappointment started.
George Michael kicked things off brilliantly with a rendition of one of his best only to be followed by a piss poor song that nobody had ever heard before. Who thought that was a good idea? Could it get worse?
HELL YES!
Did we get Kate Bush live for the first time in years? No we got some people prancing around to a Kate Bush song. Did they manage to get Bowie out of retirement? No they got a bunch of vein, drug taking anorexic models to prance about on stage to a Bowie classic. Could this thing possibly get worse?
HELL YES!!
Russell Brand, I mean bloody Russell Brand singing a song from Willy Wonka, please the movie is a classic the song was sung originally by the brilliant Gene Wilder and it is and always will be a family favourite. Why let this guy ruin all those happy memories. Then they let him slaughter the Beatles. Could it get worse?
HELL YES!
Annie Lennox, not bad but not great (should have got the Eurythmics back together) singing a song that could barely be heard because the sound was so bad. Jessie J singing god knows how many times (was this girl getting paid by the song or something) Madness, they gave it a shot but Suggs can not sing any more. They sounded flatter than an ironed out piece of paper. The only thing that sounded worse was Ray Davis who sounded just awful. They obviously didn't give him enough time to recover from the shock of being raised from the dead. Could it get any worse?
HELL YES!
Then they thought they would really put on a display of the best British bands out there with One Direction. COME ON. A bloody manufactured, pop product thrust upon the world by Cowell. They're just a glorified bunch of Karaoke singers who didn't even win the X-Factor. And then they were followed by the bloody Spice Girls. Another example of the Great British Pop machine. You get more talent in your average school nativity.

All I can say is thank God for Muse and The Who (among a handful of others).

All in all a complete nightmare. Such a shame.

But I'm sure we have all gained a hero or two from the Olympics be it a swimmer, runner, gymnast or any other athlete from the great many sports that were represented. Me personally, my hero is Boris. The newly gained national treasure that is the London Mayor. Boris for PM. What a legend.

Till next time.....

The Voice has spoken.


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