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Sunday 25 March 2012

A Word In Your Shell Like

There was an old lady who said to me I'm really not that old you see In fact I'd say she was really quite young or that is the way she appeared to some. 
But I digress, you see its like a pig in a poke that's really no joke but still a crown is a crown to some except when its a rather awkwardly fitting waist coat. 


It all happened on the way to the shops when I swung out and swat a rather annoying fly, but the fly wasn't a fly it was a fairy with a degree in social engineering by skin graft but had dreams and aspirations of being a mahogany hat stand. But it flew at me in a fly like fashion and so I struck it down, besides it had an awfully offensive moustache, for a lady that is. Any way I got to the shop and they had sold out, the shelves were bare, so I said to the bear, 'how long have you worked here?' and he proceeded to tell me a long winded story about elf's and badgers and a slightly confused whale by the name of Tarquinius. Finally the story ended with the fact that he was never happy as a fusion powered dark matter collecting vacuume cleaner and so decided upon a change of career and became a shelf. By this point I was almost asleep but I managed to shake myself free of the annoying sleep and told it to go home and get back in bed and then asked the bear if he knew where I could get some. He didn't tell me directly but hinted by way of shouting at the top of his voice that the shop down the road had just taken a delivery but had given the delivery back as they had taken it without permission but had also got some just in time for the fourth part of a two part mini series about pink cushions. So that was it, I was off like a lark. Which was quite awkward for me as I'd never tried being a lark before and it wasn't long before I decided it just wasn't for me and walked instead.


As I arrived at the shop they were just taking another delivery but this time it had a light sprinkling of permission as it always tastes better that way. Any way I walked in and there it was on the shelf. Soon I was home and enjoying a bowl full, warm of course as it always tastes better that way rather than cold and chilly with light showers but a possibility of some sunshine later in the afternoon. And that concludes todays weather which is no good for you as I happen to know that your reading this last week but you know what they say. Do you? I'm asking.... Well any way, you know what they say, to be fore warned is to be fore armed. Only thing is, Ive often been for warned but I've still only got two arms. But.... What was I saying? Oh yeh, that was it.


Don't look now but the guy over there, him with the jacket on and the rather out dated but still stylish in a kind of retro fashion hair cut. The guy sat with the young girl that looks bored but still interested as she knows he's  got more money that years left. Well he's pointing and laughing about you, don't get paranoid though as every body's doing it so it's nothing new.


But lets face it, one in the hand is worth.... well, one in the hand. It is what it is, but treat it well as they age fast and before you know it they're a drain on the economy and have a size 13 carbon footprint. But like the sheep said to the vicar, 'Baaaaaa,' or words to that effect.


Till next time...


The voice has spoken.

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