Undead But Not Forgotten, Bill Hinzman R.I.P.

Over the last few weeks there have been several deaths in the movie industry from directors to producers to actors but this morning I was sad to read of the death of the legendary Bill Hinzman.
Who the hell is that? Your probably asking yourself. And who could blame you, after all throughout his long career he never managed to break free of the B-Movie Horror genre. In fact although his career spanned 5 decades he still only made a relatively small number of films. Back in the 80s he even managed to direct a couple of lame direct to Video horror films, The slasher film 'The Majorettes'and the zombie flick 'Flesheater' It was in this second film that he basically reprised his most famous roll, that of the iconic first Zombie in George A. Romeros classic 1968 'Night Of The Living Dead.'

Along with 'Night,' he also worked with Romero in 'Theres Always Vanilla,' and 'The Crazies,' and over the years he appeared in such legendary box office blockbusters?!?!?! as Santa Claws, The Drunken Dead Guy and It Came From Trafalgar, among others but he never got a roll that would match that of the first Zombie in 'Night Of The Living Dead.'

If you havent seen the movie then go watch it immediately, plus, where have you been for the last few decades hiding under a rock?

Any way, I digress. If you have seen it then I'm sure you remember the first zombie scene with the, oft' quoted line, "Hes coming to get you Babara!" Well Bill Hinzman was that zombie, brobably the most famous zombie to ever grace the screen.

The trailer for this classic can also be found here 'Trailer' (just how many times can they get the title of the film into a trailer. Dont you justy love old trailers?)

So ladies and gentelmen I give you Bill Hinzman, the most famouse flesh eater there ever was.

Bill Hinzman

1936 - 2012

Till next time....

The voice has spoken.

Apes, Aliens and Porn Stars

Well its time to look over the past weeks viewing. Films that is, TV is only just worthy smalltalk and that's been generous. Lets face it most of us could knock out the reality trash that we are fed daily from the airwaves these days. But less of the complaining and more of the films.
There are 3 films that I'll talk about here, one that Ive mentioned before (as I saw it at the cinema) and 2 that I saw for the first time.
First up, the film I had seen already.

RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES (2011) (Blu-Ray)

Whats left to say about this that I haven't said before? Not much I think. Great film, definitely the start of a franchise re-birth. Plenty of clues to a re-make of the classic and a nice lead into how the apes managed to overthrow humanity. Lets face it, if it was just a fight between apes and man then we would wipe them out fairly quickly due to us having lots (and I mean LOTS) of weapons, while they have sticks and maybe a few guns that they nicked. Not to mention the ape army being maybe a few 100 strong while we have more soldiers in the pensioners home guard at Prestatyn. The Hollywood grape vine has been rife with rumours that a sequel will be a second part to Rise and not a remake of the original. Time will tell but there is definitely room for another film between the two.
One final note about this film. I think the Academy needs to change its thinking on motion capture, as Andy Serkis' motion capture performance of Caesar is definitely worthy of a nomination at least.

Film number 2 is a SCI-FI affair known as....

SKYLINE (2010) (sky movies)
This was a bit of an odd one. Filmed almost entirely in a single apartment with the rest of the scenes all in and around the one apartment block,  only an early scene in a plane and the last scene in an alien craft to break the trend.  The film follows a couple who travel to LA to meet up with some friends for a birthday party. Of course as soon as the party winds up some uninvited guests turn up. The aliens seem hell bent on harvesting all the humans for their brains. Yup you read that right, brains. You would think, in a universe this big they could find a more intelligent species to steal brains from but never mind.
The film moves along at a fair pace with a few well set out set pieces on the way. Playing out like an alien version of Night Of The Living Dead the tension builds up between the small bunch of people who are held up in the apartment but never really reaches any kind of fatal breaking point, as the aliens manage to pluck someone out of the bunch just in time to break the tension of the group.
The film obviously didn't have the budget of say ID4 or War Of The Worlds but what they had suited the makers well as this is definitely better that the Spielberg/Cruise atrocity and is a nice change to the, 'We will beat the bad guys because we have god and guns on our side,' type of SCI-FI. There's no big speech before the final battle or spiritual enlightenment to be had, it's just a bunch of relatively normal people trapped in a totally abnormal situation.
The film isn't perfect by any means but as a break from the Hollywood norm its certainly worth a viewing.
Starring no one special and a budget to make most block buster laugh this film has nothing to be ashamed of and everything to be proud of. My congratulations to all involved.
One warning. (spoiler) If you like to see the hero get the girl, save the day and ride of into the sunset in a blaze of glory then go watch the Spielberg/Cruise abortion, avoid this at all costs.

My final film is a controversial movie from Serbia. Available in only a heavily edited form in most countries of the world I had to download it in order to be able to give it a fair review. Be warned, what follows may shock.

A SERBIAN FILM (20111) (download/torrent)

Where to start with this film? Well, here goes.
The story involves a retired porn star who is given the chance to star in a new form of Serbian porn, Art Porn. Offered a sum of money that he and his wife find too much to refuse, he accepts. What follows is a slow and terrorising descent into hell for both the porn star and the viewer, as the film he's making quickly turns into a necrophilia, pedophiliac, violent snuff film. This film does have something to say. The obscenity of art and what constitutes art these days, the power of those who have over those who have not, the corruption of government and its view of its people. This film says it all. The director/star/co-writer himself (Srdjan Spasojevic) has stated that it represents how the government fucks us all. I think it succeeds in saying this and a lot more.

The film reminded me of 'Salo, or 120 days of Sodom' by Pier Palo Pasolini. A film he made with the sole purpose of shocking the audience.  It succeeded on all levels. Cinema audiences are becoming desensitised by the constant stream of torture porn films like the Hostel and Saw movies. Ive seen people laugh at the most violent scenes (a showing of Straw Dogs in 1990 at the Leeds Film Festival) I found this to be more shocking than any scene from that or any movie since including this one. Audiences need to be knocked back and sickened again as Pasolini did and this film does just that. Should it be banned? probably. Should it be watched? If you can stomach it then yes. Will you remember it? For the rest of your life.
The movie going public needs to be reminded that horrifying movies are horrifying and that just because its a movie doesn't mean that you should laugh or even enjoy graphically violent scenes or violent sexual scenes. If this film or the idea of watching this film makes you nauseous then congratulations, you're still a good human being. If it doesn't then I suggest you see a shrink.

Till next time....

The voice has spoken.

Conan - A strong contender or a damp squid?

Well last night I saw the new version of Conan The Barbarian.
Now many of you out there, like me, will remember the original 1982 version starring non other than the Governator himself Arnold Schwarzenegger with fond memories and will have been very weary of this new version from the off set. But lets get one thing straight, this is not a remake, its a new Conan film. A fresh origin story, entirely different from the 82 film. So don't expect to know the story, even though there are similarities.
Warning the following contains spoilers. So read at your own peril.....

The movie starts with a bloody battle in which Conan's mother and father are knee deep in violence and bloodshed. Unfortunately Conan's mother falls foul of a sword and his father (played by the excellent Ron Pearlman) has to perform an emergency C-Section (yeah you read that right) So he gazes into his wife's eyes, lifts his sword and plunges it into her belly. How the hell he didn't slice the babies head off I have no idea (with that luck he should have put the lottery on as well) What follows is a scene directly lifted from The Lion King, baby is held aloft for all to see. Remember theres a battle going on right now but what the hell lets let the enemy use a baby for target practice. Told you this guy was one hell of a lucky dude that day. What follows for the next 30 minutes or so is Conan growing into a teen, proving his worth as a warrior, learning the value of a well made sword and the destruction of his village. Once his father has been killed by the evil warrior, with a major god complex, Khalar Zym. He then runs off into the wilderness and the next time we See him hes transformed into Jason Mamoa.
Now Jason does make a worthy Conan and is certainly more suited for the role than Arnold was (cue the screams of protest from all the devotees) After all Arnold can never be accused of being a good actor, something that Jason is certainly more capable of.
So the adult Conan sets out take revenge on his fathers killer.
A quick word about the, afore mentioned, killer Khalar Zym. He is played, quite capably, by Stephen Lang (Crazy army dude from the terrible but money making Avatar) and makes for an interesting bad guy but, theres always a but, the 82 film had James Earl Jones as a bad guy. Come on people this is the voice of Darth Vader himself, just the voice alone makes for a good bad guy but add in the man as well and you've got some mighty hard size 11s that Stephen had to fill. Something he just doesn't manage to do (even though he had a far more acceptable hair style than the dodgy mop that J. E. Jones was forced to wear) Now at Khalars side is his faithful witch of a daughter, and I mean that literally, Marique (played excellently by Rose McGowan, girl with machine gun leg in Planet Terror) and she is the real menace of the film as is proven when she conjors up some soldiers made of sand in one of the many, and I mean many, action scenes. The amount of action scenes is one of the problems in a lot of Hollywood films these days and this one is no exception. With all the action that is going on there is barely enough time for a story to develop but we still manage to get from A to B. All be it rather sparingly on the detail and emotional content.
As the film moves on our friendly neighbourhood barbarian ends up baby sitting a woman that Khalar needs the blood of in order to power a mask that will allow him to bring back his wife from the dead, conquer the world and get all the bugs out of the latest version of windows. Or something like that. Now this woman was raised and educated in a monastery and even refers to herself as a monk. Problem is that no sooner has she had a change of clothes that she decides she wants to do the nasty with a dirty, sweaty barbarian. So much for a devout religious up bringing.
Of course this leads to Conan having to rescue his damsel in distress from Khalar at the end of the film. During the course of the rescue he calls in the help of the greatest thief / lock pick that there is to get him into Zyms lair. Unfortunately all this means is that this guy has a big bunch of keys? I mean why bring him along at all, just give Conan the keys and tell him to bring them back when hes finished. Surely dragging this poor dude along just makes it more difficult to get in without been seen.
Of course in the evil lair theres a sea monster in the dungeon, they must have run out of rancor's at Skywalker Ranch, then its on to rescue his woman before shes sacrificed and her blood used to empower the mask of all evil (its actually a mask made of kings bones or something) which once empowered clings to his face like a face hugger from alien. During the battle he must also battle Marique and her finger claws (ala Freddy Kruger, she even does the whole dragging of claws along a wall sparks flying) and several soldiers. The cavern where the final battle takes place must have been designed by the same guy who designed Medusa's lair in Clash Of The Titans. Its a totally impractical collection of platforms and sudden death ledges, I mean what was wrong with architects back then in days of legend, were they all high on LSD or something.
The film ends with Conan taking his, not so, fair lady home and then riding off into the sunset.
So after all this mocking and silliness what is my final judgement on the film.
Well it is certainly a better film than the original, and it is entertaining enough but would I recommend going to the cinema to see it.
No not really.
Wait for the Blu-Ray and enjoy it at home. After all the seats a comfier and the food is cheaper.

Till next time..

The voice has spoken.